What Issues Are Teens Facing? Trying Alcohol

As we know children are very curious and love to try things but their curiosity can get them in a lot of trouble. It is a fact that a person can try alcohol for the first time and become hooked on it and Children are no exception. They do not always know the consequence of their behavior so they may think that there is no harm in taking a sip of alcohol therefore, they would try it. They can easily acquire a taste for it and the sad part is usually they were first introduced to it from their parents' cabinets.

It takes a strong will teen to say no to alcohol especially when his peers are doing it but most of the time he will give in because he would not want to be different from the others. Normally he will not see that the group of people that he is with is not the right kind of people to be around. To him they maybe the in-group and is having a lot of fun and he would want to be involved so he would do what they are doing.

Teens may try alcohol for various reason and some are trouble in the home, maybe their parents are not getting along with each other, there maybe financial problems in the home that they cannot get what they want or need. There maybe physical, emotional or sexual abusive in the home or some place else but all of these circumstances that can cause a child to turn to drinking.

There are signs that parents can look for if they suspect that their teen is drinking. If alcohol is in the home, check the level of alcohol in the bottle. If it is below what you have drank, then there is a chance that the teen is drinking. If you are missing money out of your purse or wallet, the teen maybe taking from you to buy alcohol. You might say that he or she is not old enough to buy alcohol. Well children are very resourceful; they will pay others to buy it for them.

Notice if there is a change in his appearance. If a teen has been neat in his appearance but suddenly he is not as neat and clean then he could be using alcohol. If his grades in school are failing grades, it could mean that he is using alcohol and is unable to comprehend the lesson. If he begin fighting in school or at home there maybe a problem with alcohol.

A child will not voluntarily tell you that he is drinking because he is aware that he is underage and he knows that drinking is wrong. Parents need to be the ones who imitate the conversation, expect a denial because the child will become fearful and would mostly lie to get out of trouble but if you suspect or have evidence that he is using alcohol do not let it slide. Try not to show anger because the child will become fearful when you start talking and your tone of voice can only make it worst.

If he denies using alcohol then simply talk to him about the danger of drinking. Do not accuse him because what you say to him will convict him, so there will be no need for accusation.

If he admits to using alcohol find out why he has turned to drinking, correct the problem if you can and use outside counsel if it is needed. Your purpose at this point is to help your child through this difficult time so use every means that is available to you.

I am a Christian, wife, mother and grandmother. I enjoy helping and encouraging others. I am South Delta School District PTO President, Parent Supporter Task Force President and a member of the Parent Leadership Institute. My main hobbies are reading and writing books or articles.

My website is: http://www.lizzieschristianbookstoreandmore.com/. I sell a variety of Christian Products such as E-books, Poems, and Teachings. Free weekly Devotions. Inspiritional products like Crosses, Bible covers, Plaques, Figurines and more.

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How Can I Help My Teen Be a Safer Driver?

My teenage daughter received her driver's license a few weeks ago. Letting my little girl go out and drive on her own has caused me quite a bit of stress and fear. However, after doing several things and being proactive in her driving, I have successfully been able to squelch most of my uneasiness.

Driving statistics show that a teen driver is four times more likely to be in a car accident than an adult. They make many mistakes, such as:

Distracted Driving-Talking and texting on their cell phones while driving, having friends in the car with them that cause them to pay more attention to their friends than the road, eating while driving, etc. The use of cell phones in cars has had such a huge impact causing accidents that, earlier this month, the NTSB issued a recommendation to ban the usage of all cell phones by drivers.
Speeding-Almost 1/3 of all fatal crashes involving teens were speed related. Teenagers do not have enough experience driving to know how their speed affects slowing and stopping time.
Risk Taking-Teens are more likely to take risks when driving such as: running red lights and stop signs, speeding in school zones, not checking blind spots, etc. They have the "I am invincible" mentality.
Driving Under the Influence- Teens who drink are unlikely to call their parents to come get them and drive them home for fear of punishment. They think they can handle themselves, and being drunk makes them feel even more invincible.
Car Overcrowding-Teen drivers are known to try to get as many of their friends as they can into their cars. This leads to more distracted driving, plus the added influence of peer pressure causing the driver to feel the need to "show off".
Fatigue- When our teens drive tired,their reaction times are
slower and they risk falling asleep at the wheel.

Here is the good news. There are ways to help your teen driver be safe on the road.

Track Your Teen- Install a GPS logging or real time tracking device in their car. These units allow parents to have a" bird's eye" view on what their teen is doing while in their car. They also make teens more aware of their actions, making them think twice before doing something reckless while driving.
Education- Make your teen take an online driver safety course. Show them pictures of crash scenes involving teen drivers. Print up articles for them on the statistics about teen drivers.
Cell Phones- It is very important for you to make sure your teen driver turns off their cell phone before leaving. I will even call my daughter's cell phone, while she is on the road, to make sure that it is off.
Conntract- Have them sign a teen driver contract. There are many of them that can be downloaded online. You can modify these contracts to suit you and your teen's needs. If they break the contract, there should be a predetermined consequence. The ideas above are only some of the ways to protect your teen driver from accidents and reckless driving.

Hopefully this has been an insightful article for parents of new teen drivers, and will help you with some of the uneasiness you have when they leave the house in their cars.

My name is Jennifer Katz, and I am the mother of a new teen driver. I created my website, http://www.teendrivertracking.com/, with the hope of being able to educate other parents of teen drivers on how to keep their teens safe. I would also love to hear from parents about their experiences with their teen drivers, and what they do to keep their teens safe.

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Bullying in School: What If It Is The Teacher?

I don't know about all of you, but this behavior absolutely disgusts me. It disgusts me, and I am a recently retired high school English teacher of 31 years. I loved my job and my students. I have to tell you, those bullying, mean teachers do exist. Fortunately they are the minority, but they are in classrooms nonetheless.

Honestly, I don't understand why those people are in the classroom. A high school teacher is with approximately 180 students per day; at least I did. Elementary teachers are with the same 25- 30 students all day long. How can someone do that if they don't like kids?

What do you do if your child comes home and tells you he/she is being picked on by the teacher? The first thing you have to do is really listen to your child. Then ask some questions of your child. Here are some of my suggestions: 1.) Why do you feel this way? 2.) What, specifically, has your teacher been doing to make you feel picked on? 3.) What are you doing in class? 4.) Are you contributing to the problem between the two of you? 5.) Do you want to try to fix this yourself for a little while?

Most importantly be willing to really listen to your child. In talking with your child, try your best to remain calm. Your child will follow your lead.

If your child doesn't feel the problem has been resolved, then you need to step in. I don't care if your child says, "Please don't. It'll just get worse." You must then get involved. Set up a conference with the teacher.

For you to have a successful conference there are some things to keep in mind. The bottom line is that you both want the child to feel safe and comfortable in that classroom. Make sure you get that message across to the teacher. Setting the right tone at the very beginning will decide if the conference will be positive or not. I assure you that the teacher is assuming they are going to be attacked. Parents don't call for a conference to tell the teacher how much they appreciate them. The teacher is expecting to be attacked.

Let the teacher know that you are here as a partner of the teacher, and that your focus is on your child. Stay calm! Explain as calmly as you possibly can why you are there and what your child is feeling. Give the teacher the specific examples your child has given you. Then, give the teacher an uninterrupted chance to respond.

Sometimes, there is just a misunderstanding. Perhaps the teacher is unaware that what and/or how they are speaking is not being perceived the way they intend it. I often found that just making a teacher aware of how the child is feeling is enough. The teacher will often make changes.

If however, you aren't satisfied with the outcome of the conference or if your child says the problem is continuing, then you must go to the next step which is the appropriate principal. If there is an assistant principal, start there. Make an appointment. In this conference, again remain calm. You know, this is just basic good people skills. No one wants to work with someone they feel is attacking them right away.

In this conference, let this principal know what steps you have already taken. Hopefully you kept notes from your previous conference. Explain what you would like to see happen for your child. Hopefully you can get support, and your child's situation will change. If it doesn't, keep going up the chain of command. Keep notes with dates to serve as a timeline if you have to keep going.

I feel that you will somewhere get what you need. Don't give up until your child feels safe and comfortable at school. That is every child's right!!!!!!!

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A Heart for Teens

Adolescence is a time of exploration and experimentation. Depending upon a child's earlier training and development determines the depth of their experience during this critical time of growth.

As a child, I was taught to be polite and pretend everything was alright, even through turbulent times. For years, I wore the mask of a smile when deep inside I hurt. By the time I became a teenager, I was filled with mixed emotions.

You see, learning to smile and pretend that all was well during adversity caused me to miss out on valuable life skills. Instead of learning to communicate my thoughts and feelings during difficult times, I pretended that problems did not exist. As a result, I never learned how to identify feelings and became confused about my emotions. By the time I reached adolescence, the emotions inside overwhelmed me.

My parents were college graduates, and worked hard in their professions. Both valued family and education. Provided with a beautiful home, the neighborhood make-up included ethnic cultures different from my own and predominantly white.

While initially culture shocked when I entered into junior high school, I eventually became compelled to connect with classmates that looked like me. Inspired to reach out to make new friends, I was rejected.

Shortly after the incident of rejection I received unexpected news. An announcement of my parents' divorce devastated me. Even though the arguments increased after the loss of my father's job, I never dreamed that my parents would divorce. Then, a whirl wind entered my life.

Ill-equipped to cope with all of the emotions stirred up inside I chose to explore and experiment with drugs and alcohol. This new coping mechanism helped me to deal with my life.

Additional adversity came into my life and caused emotions to grow. A heartbreak stimulated by the separation from an intimate relationship filled me with pain. The betrayal of very close friends confused me.

In 1981, I lost my father to heart disease. In 1982, I lost a close friend to murder. In 1983, I lost my mother to cancer. Overwhelmed by the pain I felt inside, my drug and alcohol use escalated.

As a result of my exploration & experimentation during my adolescence, I adapted to a different lifestyle. This lifestyle led me to a place that I never knew existed on earth --- Hell. Towards the end of my active addiction, I used drugs and alcohol to live and lived to used drugs and alcohol.

Finally, this way of life no longer worked. No matter how much I used, the pain did not subside. I reached out for help and found recovery. Led to recovery, I started to make discoveries about my life.

A major discovery awakened me to the importance of communication. I found that communication is an essential tool for confronting and walking through adversity. I have learned to express my thoughts and feelings with any situation in life and gain access to freedom. As a result of this awakening, I am passionate about carrying this message to teens with the hope that they make powerful choices during the time of exploration and experimentation.

After 22 years of living clean & sober, my heart is fueled with passion to contribute new ways of thinking that empower teens to discover their own passion for life.

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Are My Kids Stressed?

It's NO FUN to be stressed. Not only is it no fun, it's not healthy. As adults we've all experienced bouts of stress. Mine occurred recently when I was off of work and receiving only disability pay and three family cars broke down at once! I, however, as an adult expect times of stress... that's life, right? The issue occurs when the stress doesn't ease up. Maybe it's a very difficult boss or co-worker--maybe illness in the family or mounting medical or other bills. As we mature, most of us learn to cope with the stress.

What about our kids? Sometimes as adults we are so busy with our jobs, relationships or even our own stresses that we may not realize when our children are stressed. Now don't get me wrong--children need to experience some stresses so that they can develop coping mechanisms which will transfer into adulthood. In this article I would like to consider extraordinary stresses to children.

First of all, what might be some signs that my child is stressed? Actually, they may be very much like the symptoms of adult stress. A few symptoms might be:

• Restless sleep, or sleeping too much

• Aggressive appetite, or lack of appetite

• Acting out or "losing it" at home or at school

• Grinding teeth during sleep, causing headaches

• Frequent or unusual headaches

• A tendency to want to stay home from school

• Moping or lack of interest in any activities

• Nervous habits, such as fingernail biting or even pulling out hair

• An "I don't care" attitude

• Avoiding school work when it's been a priority in the past

• Social withdrawal--may spend lots of time alone in their room

Of course, these symptoms don't ALWAYS mean your child is stressed--you know your child better than anyone. However, any these symptoms might warrant a second look. So, I've discovered that my child is stressed... what now? It's important to reveal the root of a problem so that you can create a solution. It's time to play detective. Analyze what you know, but this is also a time to show that you care with a sincere, warm conversation.

Have there been...

... any life changes or upsets recently?

• If so, create special time for your child, maybe dinner out or a movie together. Take the opportunity to talk openly and honestly about the situation. Consider counseling sessions.

... hectic, full schedules on top of homework and chores?

• Slow down--if possible, eliminate one or two of the evening activities. Help your child to be more organized to reduce any last minute projects or rushing around looking for shoes and other materials. Help your child to be on time to school and other activities.

... self-inflicted pressures or high expectations?

• Repeatedly assure your child that everyone makes mistakes and that as long as they give of their best you will be content and they should too. Let them know that you love and accept them unconditionally.

... bully or friend problems at school or in the neighborhood?

• Sometimes children are afraid to expose a bully for fear that a parent will "make a big deal" and cause the situation to become worse. Rather than immediately calling a bullies' parents or the teacher, try to teach your child to react to a bully appropriately. Do, however, contact authorities immediately if your child is threatened or endangered in any way. Consider employing a coach to assist your child's reaction in awkward or difficult social situations.

Other tips to prevent or reduce stress in children:

• Encourage physical activities. Remember that activities such as Little League organizations are beneficial, yet children need physical activities outdoors that are unstructured or "free."

• Encourage an appreciation for nature and the outdoors. Take your child for some rest and relaxation at a park or on a camping or hiking trip.

• Allow your child to be bored. It is stressful for every minute of the day to be filled with activities. Often children and adults will escape into a television show or net surfing in their down time. It is freeing to disconnect from technology and allow the imagination to flow freely.

• Ensure that your child has a spiritual outlet, such as an accepting church group who teaches optimism, faith and hope.

• Allow your child to spend time each week pursuing a hobby that they have chosen and enjoy.

• Set an example. If your life is frazzled and unorganized, your child's life will be as well. If you are unorganized, admit it to your child and work together as a family to learn how to reduce your clutter and hectic habits.

• Maintain balance. Discover if your life is out of balance as well as your child's. Life is more rewarding and pleasant if we live it balanced and feeling in control. Take a balance assessment to determine areas of weakness then form an action plan to improve your life.

Sometimes adults become very involved in the cares and concerns of everyday life. Don't forget to stop and check your child's stress level, then both of you take time to stop and smell the roses along the way!

Lisa Kokenes is a former English/History teacher and Middle School principal with over twenty years of experience in the field of education. Her work in the Texas public school system includes a middle school principal ship which entailed establishing a school from its foundation. She led the faculty in effective implementation of a school wide inclusion program and also spent numerous hours in the field of curriculum development and alignment of vertical subject matter teams. She lives the philosophy of Principle-Centered Leadership.

In addition to her educational career, Lisa carries a passion for children of all ages which has prompted her to assist in opening four private and business based day care centers over the span of her career. The centers were designed to instill in children a love for learning by combining education and quality care. She continues to follow her educational passion for children by providing mentorship, coaching and educational assistance to struggling students and parents.

http://www.yoursuccessbuilder.com/

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