I don't know about all of you, but this behavior absolutely disgusts me. It disgusts me, and I am a recently retired high school English teacher of 31 years. I loved my job and my students. I have to tell you, those bullying, mean teachers do exist. Fortunately they are the minority, but they are in classrooms nonetheless.
Honestly, I don't understand why those people are in the classroom. A high school teacher is with approximately 180 students per day; at least I did. Elementary teachers are with the same 25- 30 students all day long. How can someone do that if they don't like kids?
What do you do if your child comes home and tells you he/she is being picked on by the teacher? The first thing you have to do is really listen to your child. Then ask some questions of your child. Here are some of my suggestions: 1.) Why do you feel this way? 2.) What, specifically, has your teacher been doing to make you feel picked on? 3.) What are you doing in class? 4.) Are you contributing to the problem between the two of you? 5.) Do you want to try to fix this yourself for a little while?
Most importantly be willing to really listen to your child. In talking with your child, try your best to remain calm. Your child will follow your lead.
If your child doesn't feel the problem has been resolved, then you need to step in. I don't care if your child says, "Please don't. It'll just get worse." You must then get involved. Set up a conference with the teacher.
For you to have a successful conference there are some things to keep in mind. The bottom line is that you both want the child to feel safe and comfortable in that classroom. Make sure you get that message across to the teacher. Setting the right tone at the very beginning will decide if the conference will be positive or not. I assure you that the teacher is assuming they are going to be attacked. Parents don't call for a conference to tell the teacher how much they appreciate them. The teacher is expecting to be attacked.
Let the teacher know that you are here as a partner of the teacher, and that your focus is on your child. Stay calm! Explain as calmly as you possibly can why you are there and what your child is feeling. Give the teacher the specific examples your child has given you. Then, give the teacher an uninterrupted chance to respond.
Sometimes, there is just a misunderstanding. Perhaps the teacher is unaware that what and/or how they are speaking is not being perceived the way they intend it. I often found that just making a teacher aware of how the child is feeling is enough. The teacher will often make changes.
If however, you aren't satisfied with the outcome of the conference or if your child says the problem is continuing, then you must go to the next step which is the appropriate principal. If there is an assistant principal, start there. Make an appointment. In this conference, again remain calm. You know, this is just basic good people skills. No one wants to work with someone they feel is attacking them right away.
In this conference, let this principal know what steps you have already taken. Hopefully you kept notes from your previous conference. Explain what you would like to see happen for your child. Hopefully you can get support, and your child's situation will change. If it doesn't, keep going up the chain of command. Keep notes with dates to serve as a timeline if you have to keep going.
I feel that you will somewhere get what you need. Don't give up until your child feels safe and comfortable at school. That is every child's right!!!!!!!
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